The nerd herd hates cars
I hate traveling...more than cleaning, cooking, diapering and shopping with no money combined. Why do I hate traveling? Take a look at the back seat of my car on any given day and I'm sure you can figure it out. It doesn't take a rocket surgeon. You see...back there amidst the battle field of disfigured goldfish crackers and teddy grahams, the piles of blankets and binkies and sippy cups and toy giraffes that cost $23.99 at Baby's R Us....there are two children who absolutely loathe riding in car seats. Perhaps it is the the urge to run naked that consumes my eldest all day long or his fascination with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse that drives his angst or perhaps it is the little one's incessant need to be held, loved on and chatted to every waking moment of our lives....who can say? The point is that these two kids hate infant safety devices with a fiery passion and have no problem letting you, me and the surrounding 15 cars on the highway know about their disgruntled state of being...which makes for excellent driving music by the way.
As much as I hate traveling though, it's a necessary way of life. I can't go on strike from the car. I need to go to the store and to walk and to do things that help me retain my sanity. Little car trips aren't usually so bad though. It's the 6 hour trek home to Dallas that blows or the 3 1/2 hour trip to Disney. And I hate that because I love those places! And the kids love their grandparents and aunties and we love going back to church there. If they ever perfect "beaming me up" and make it safe for kids...I'll be all over that like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm. There is a whole host of things I'd rather do than sit in a car for that long with my kids. Some of them include:
- Attempting to baptise a cat
- Working on calculus problems for funsies
- filling a cavity with no novocaine
- Tweezing my leg hair individually
- Eating all my meals, regardless of consistency, with a straw
People forget what it's like
One of the most difficult things for me to get over as a parent now is people telling me how things "aren't so bad". Sometimes they point out how they didn't have such and such back in the day. They did x, y and z and it was way harder. Listen...don't compare your chapter 35 to my chapter 7. I have no idea what it's like to live, work and raise kids in 1923. I have to work with what I have now and maybe it was 100 times harder when you were raising your kids but I don't know that. I have to work with the scale I have now and you know what? Sometimes I want to imbibe copious amounts of margaritas when I hear that a long car drive is around the bend. Is it worth it? Absolutely! I love my family and I wish we lived closer because my kids have got some kick butt grandparents and aunties and uncles.
And we're just talking about a car drive here. What about airplanes? Yeah...I see you all looking around suddenly staring at your shoes. Do you know how much I dread getting on a plane. That's a flying death trap with my hyperactive toddler in it and no way out. I can't let him run around or scream or shake his head or eat his weight in goldfish because all Delta has is cookies, nuts and canned beverages. This leads to a screaming kid. Do yo know what kids like? Routine...they love routine because they know that after dinner comes bathtime and after bathtime comes bedtime and they know what's coming and it's not a shock and their world doesn't collapse and the skies don't fall because they know they're getting yogurt at dinner and will get to watch two episodes of MMC before bed. When you throw off the routine, chaos ensues. Toddlers are running the aisles setting fire to luggage and throwing peanuts at people who are allergic and the flight attendants are hollering and suddenly you're being molested by TSA agents while getting shot with rubber bullets by an air marshall and all you wanted to do was visit your relatives on the other coast.
But always...always I get the people who think it should be that easy to just snap your fingers and go. Traveling with kids is packing certain snacks because your toddler has a discerning palette. It's making sure you have extras of everything and his favorite toy because he won't sleep without it. It's gathering all the medicines and the emergency DVDs to stave off the tantrum. It's diapers and toys and clothes and toiletries. It's packing yourself a small bag and praying you can get all of your child's precious items there and back. It's leaning over the carseat breastfeeding while driving 70 mph down the highway. It's coffee every 3 hours and praying constantly "God...just get us there safely and quickly and I promise I'll never say the terrible things I'm thinking out loud to my children."
Plato once said "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle". Things are hard for all of us and a lot of times I think we forget that. The message at church this Sunday was a really good reminder for me because Brian was abundantly clear about us not being promised no hard times and quoted John 16:33. " I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart. I have overcome the world". The whole underlying theme of course was making Christ the center of our lives. My husband and I always have really deep discussions on the way home from visiting family and I love that aspect of trips. It's time that I really value in my marriage because it shows me how much we've grown as a couple and parents. On the way home this past time we discussed our kids a lot and how we want to intentionally raise them. We want to be better at saying grace at meals because Poppy Tony says blessed food tastes better (it's true...Dan said he could taste it). We want to say prayers at bedtime and show our kids that God works through everything. And it hit me as I got to unpacking that the little paper they give us when we pick our kids up from Church that right there was a tool to help my travel problems and my Christ-centrification. They have these activities to help you work God into conversation with your toddler. It occurs to me that maybe I'm looking at this wrong. I mean...I'm not deluded...long travel is going to suck no matter what...but what if I can take those moments of calm and use it to talk about really meaningful things, like how God works in our lives or how to treat people kindly or how to eat all our vegetables. What if I can transform our time in the car to a place where open, honest discussion can happen. I might be idealistic but if the car becomes a safe zone where we talk about things that matter, I might begin to hate it less. I might not ever grow to love it. But maybe I can come to the place where insanity meets calm and sit on the fence proudly.
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